Over my years as a financial advisor, I have helped many clients work through the financial and emotional aspects of major life transitions. Now, in welcoming two new partners to the firm I started as a sole owner 40-plus years ago, I am working hard to take my own advice.
I have spent years preparing for this: working with consultants, stepping away from key roles, mentoring successors, and refining systems to make the transition as smooth as possible. I knew there would be hard negotiating, compromise, and change as I turned over the management reins.
I still was not ready for the emotional intensity.
Inviting two new partners, Paul and Ben, into the firm felt less like completing a transaction and more like entering a marriage that created a blended family. For me, it marked the end of forty years of independence and the beginning of a shared future. For them, it meant stepping into an established household with its own history, rhythms, and unspoken rules. My challenge is to let go; theirs is to navigate how to bring their perspectives forward without disrupting the values that have defined the firm for decades.
Much like planning a wedding, the business side of the transition included finalizing endless details: valuations, legal documents, job titles, responsibilities. That was the easy part. The harder work was—and is—negotiating how to merge cultures, share authority, and build mutual trust.
William Bridges, who wrote extensively about change, said, “Every transition begins with an ending and ends with a beginning. The neutral zone in between is where transformation takes root.” That middle space, what transitionist Susan Bradley calls the passage, was where we found ourselves for many months. It was messy, uncertain, and at times uncomfortable. There were moments of awkwardness and tension. It was also where the real growth happened.
My emotions included pride in what I had built, gratitude for sharing the load, and excitement for the firm’s future. There was also fear of losing relevance and watching something I had nurtured change in ways I could not control. As Bridges reminds us, change is situational, but transition is psychological. The external details may be settled, but internally, you are still learning how to shift identities.
When people think of a business transition, they often picture a finish line, a sale date circled on the calendar when the deal is done, the papers are signed, and everyone celebrates a new beginning. Imagining it instead as a wedding means accepting that the day it becomes official is only the start of the real work.
That work is essential, and it is not always smooth. Navigating the difficult parts is where trust deepens and a new entity takes shape. It takes courage and vulnerability to move from the familiar past to the unknown future, one honest conversation at a time.
For me, it is also important to keep in mind a quote from Simon Sinek, author of Start With Why: “Leadership isn’t about being indispensable. It’s about building something that can thrive without you.” That is the aim. The work in front of all of us is to keep showing up with honesty, patience, and curiosity.
At this moment, the firm does not feel like mine anymore. It does not yet feel like ours. We are figuring out how to live together as we develop a new shared culture and rhythm. Our shared goal is not to preserve what I had built exactly as it was, but to make room for something new. Together, we can grow even stronger and be more effective as we continue to help our clients thrive.